THE WORST TV-RELATED ANNOUNCEMENT SINCE "COMING UP NEXT: A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE OF 'PRIVATE PRACTICE'"

Transformers2007vv6vr4 Discovery Communications announced that it will replace its Discovery Kids network with a new channel jointly owned and operated by Hasbro. The toy giant will invest $300 million to obtain a 50% share of the new channel, whose lineup is expected to feature wall-to-wall shows based on company properties like Tonka, My Little Pony, G.I. Joe and the Transformers.

An ownership share of a network targeting children is "just a logical next step," said Brian Goldner, chief executive of Hasbro. But to the surprise of absolutely no one, groups looking out for quality children's television are concerned that the company has just bought itself a channel which goes into 60 million homes. Commercial Alert says that the network "sounds like nothing more than a scheme to deliver program-length advertisements to children," and the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood said it "will make a mockery of existing ad limits."

Discovery, however, defended the deal, business-wise, as part of its plan to sell low-rated networks in its stable which still have value because of their widespread carriage on the nation's cable systems. Further, a Discovery executive said, the new network will have quality, meaningful programming for children. He began to add that the new channel will also devote a certain number of hours per day to educational programming, until a Hasbro executive standing nearby did that Sith Lord thing where he sticks out two fingers, slowly moves them closer together, and makes a guy choke to death.

[PS: Low-rated or not, we'll still miss Discovery Kids, its peppy morning show Hi-5, and that show's super-coolest cast member, Jennifer.]

May 7, 2009 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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Comments

Well, looks like fun. It'll be nice to give kids a choice beyond the Disney/Nick/CN triumvirate.

Posted by: Ed Catto | Dec 16, 2009 8:27:56 AM

Undoubtedly, it will be dreck programming. That said, I really have no qualms against advertisers using "program-length" commercials aimed at children. Hate to be the one to perpetually bring this up, but it is kind of up to the parent to judge what a child will prop him/herself up to watch on television - AND what toys/breakfast cereals the child will get. We can't regulate good parenting skills through such efforts as ad limitations, and we're silly to even try.

But man... Hasbro TV shows really blow. Seriously. I'm not looking forward to this.

Posted by: Bren Collins | Aug 3, 2010 9:33:50 AM

A brother get constipated, in the toilet will easily as then, is he strongly efforts of time, see a the elder brothers wind the same rushed into the toilet, into his side position, just went in and then there was a true the storm, the brother of envy to that elder brothers say: the elder brothers envy you ah,
The elder brothers say: admire what, take off pants haven't? ~ ~wholesalers

Posted by: tykykt | Jun 12, 2011 8:41:28 PM

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