Produced by Gary Drevitch
DID JIMI EVER PLAY VERMONT?
On vacation at the beach (no, not that one, this one) this week but continuing to post . . . we found ourselves at a suburban Super Stop & Shop, with a selection so large and aisles so wide, we stayed four-and-a-half hours. The will-snapping acres of ice-cream cases even inspired us to coin a new Ben & Jerry’s flavor: Purple Hazelnut. Or have they done that one already?
IF ONLY THEY JUST WHISTLED THROUGH THE GRAVEYARD
We had cause to be at a cemetery the other day, but could not find a way to prevent the suddenly quite mischievous (and noisy) Tiny Girl from literally dancing one gentleman's grave without making a scene, which of course we couldn’t do amid all the serenity. FD was raised never to walk on any individual’s gravesite under any circumstance and has tried never to violate that. Others have said it’s cost of doing business for the dearly departed.
So we went online seeking a verdict from a more established parenting or religious authority, but were stopped cold by the discovery of sites offering cemetery etiquette guidelines to "taphophiles," who we gather are fellas who just enjoy cemeteries way, way too much. We’ll offer no link, as the sites have been deemed Not Safe For Not-Creeping-You-the-Hell-Out-at-Work. In fact, we didn’t even look past the Table of Contents, one section of which offered "Alternatives to Vandalism and Theft."
THEY WERE RAISED BY KEEBLER ELVES
They celebrate America’s independence a week early here at the beach, and so we were treated to a really quite fine fireworks display on Sunday night, a perfect evening marred only by our overhearing this snippet of conversation between two smug licensed-character balloon salesmen: "You know it’s just, Baby cry, Mommy buy." When this reporter spread the news of these shockingly callous comments, Nabisco immediately offered each salesman a marketing vice presidency.
June 29, 2004 | Permalink |
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