Like so many bloggers, the Establishment considers FD to be a "tastemaker." And so we found ourselves last night at the tony Tribeca Grand Hotel for a New Yorker magazine and Bombay Sapphire-sponsored screening of "Garden State," the new film from Zach Braff, harmless star of the NBC sitcom "Scrubs." The invitation promised complimentary Bombay Sapphire cocktails, and "an exclusive discussion" with Braff and fetching costar Natalie Portman. However, while Braff fielded our questions after the film (apparently, the film is "75% autobiographical," basically all of it except the parts where the lead character suffers), Princess Amidala was nowhere to be seen. Our hosts offered no explanation, or apology, for her absence, and we in the audience, aware that a Ronstadt-at-the-Aladdin-style uprising would put our free cocktails at risk, kept our mouths shut as well. Natalie was the 85-pound gorilla in the room no one would talk about.

The film itself, opening tomorrow at a theater near your hip twenty-something cousin, is actually quite good - at times very funny and inventive, at times mildly moving. (Spoiler alert: Guy gets girl.)

Still, you may be wondering, "FD, what does all this have to do with your blog? What's the parenting connection?"

Approaching 10:00, Old Friend and FD were in the Tribeca Grand's sublime men's room when our cell phone rang. It was Loving Mother, reporting that Small Fellow had as yet refused to go to bed. She put him on the phone, and after some small talk ("Which subway did you take to go the movie?" "What's the movie called?" "What's it about?" "What part of New Jersey?" "Just the airport?"), we got down to cases: If you don't go to sleep now, you won't be able to wake up tomorrow morning, and like we told you the other day, if you can't wake up by yourself to go to camp, we won't wake you up and you won't be able to go to camp. So go to bed now.

And just like we were the star of an inspiring AT&T Wireless commercial, it worked. Small Fellow went right to bed with no further complaint. Of course, the exact same lecture, delivered in person after bedtime the night before, led to a lengthy tantrum. Which brings us to this unavoidable conclusion: FD should spend more nights away from home.

July 28, 2004 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS


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