UH-OH

THE FREELANCEDAD.COM "UH-OH" CONVERSATION OF THE WEEK

Small Fellow: I hope the Red Sox win. I'm so happy when they win!
FD: Me, too. I like the Red Sox!
[We establish that the Sox are playing the Yankees now because they've beaten "the ones from California"]
SF: I like both of them, the Red Sox and New York.
FD: No . . . you should just like the Red Sox. I like the Red Sox, because I'm from Boston.SF: But I'm growing up in New York, so I should like New York!

OR THEY COULD LOCK THE ASTRONAUTS IN A CAR WITH SMALL FELLOW FOR TWO HOURS AND SEE WHAT THAT DOES TO THEM

Russian space researchers will lock six men in a metal tube for more than year in an effort to mimic the stresses and challenges of a manned mission to Mars.
The 500 Days experiment, as they call it, will test the physical and psychological effects of lengthy space travel. Just a thought, guys: How valid do you think your psych results will be, given that since the tube will be . . . on earth, the astronauts can just open the door and get out if things go bad?


CHANCES ALL OF OUR KIDS WILL HAVE THESE IMPLANTED IN THEM WITHIN A DECADE: 90%

The FDA has approved a tiny computer chip which can be implanted in your arm to carry all of your vital medical records wherever you go - and, oh yeah, to track your movements.


CAN'T WAIT TILL HE ASKS, "MOM, WHAT DID YOU DO DURING THE WAR?"

Pfc. Lynndie England has given birth to a baby boy at Fort Bragg. Post officials initially said they didn't know what sex the child was, because the birth announcements distributed by its parents pictured the baby with a mask over its head and with its genitalia obscured by a prisoner simulating fellatio.


LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR . . . STATE FARM IS LEERING AT YOUR DAUGHTER

In a new commercial for State Farm, we see a middle-age man come home from work carrying some dry cleaning. He notices a very sexy little dress on one of the hangers, just as he happens to be standing several feet behind his wife, who has her back to him. As the soundtrack starts playing an adult movie soundtrack riff, he holds the dress out and shakes it around, imagining her wearing it. Then his attractive teenage daughter swoops in, grabs the dress, and thanks dad for picking it up. The message: She's really growing up fast. Better buy some insurance now - before they lock her up for solicitation!

October 14, 2004 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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