GREAT THINGS ABOUT FOUR-YEAR-OLD SONS, PART 3

We put on an old road race T-shirt to wear to bed the other night. Precocious reader Small Fellow saw the shirt, and asked, "Daddy, did you win that race?"

Physical therapy for pulling a quad while running: $900
A son who believes you actually could have won the race: Priceless

LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY: SMALL FELLOW'S MOM IS GOING TO BE AROUND FOR A LONG, LONG TIME

Married women who avoid conflict with their spouses have an increased risk of dying from any cause, according to a news release from the Second International Conference on Women, Heart Disease and Stroke.

AND TINY GIRL'S DADDY ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE, EITHER

From the same study:

But married men were less likely to die than their single counterparts over a 10-year period, despite other health risks.

IN A RELATED STORY, MIGHTY MOUSE IS BEING REINTRODUCED, NOW FIRING LASERS OUT OF HIS BEHIND

The WB network, proud home of some shows you've never seen, is bringing back Bugs Bunny and his friends. But instead of the beloved opera-spoofing, animal-anticking, food-chain-thwarting characters of our youth, the new "Loonatics" - and if you haven't seen these images yet, you have got to hit the link - will be poorly-drawn superhero action figures with no pupils in their eyes. Each will have a superpower, and they'll, yes, fight crime in the year 2772. (Did these guys ever hear of "Duck Dodgers in the 24-1/2 Century" ?)

The network’s animators have re-imagined Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and Wile E. Coyote as sleek new figures for a modern age. “We all flipped for it,” David Janollari, president of the Kids’ WB, said this week. “We just said, ‘Wow, what a great way to take the classic Looney Tunes franchise that has been huge with audiences for decades and bring it into the new millennium.”’

The earth then opened up as Janollari's father, the Prince of Darkness, recalled him to the nether regions, his work on Earth complete. But Janollari said, "Wait, father! I yet have one more message to deliver to the wretched masses of this fetid plane!" Lucifer acquiesced, and Janollari completed his interview:

“I think the legacy is intact,” he said. “If anything, it’s an homage to the legacy instead of a destruction of the legacy.”

And then, in a puff of brimstone, he was gone.

WHERE DO WE SIGN UP?

A massive new study is being launched to discover what makes kids sick - why some kids get asthma, get fat, or become autistic, and what effect chemicals, the environment, or genetic factors have on their future health. US News has the story:

In all, 100,000 children and their parents will be enrolled in the largest ever study of youngsters. Called the National Children's Study, it will be a 21-year odyssey of discovery, following children from the uterus to the threshold of adulthood. By carefully watching and waiting, researchers hope to gain a better understanding of major diseases that strike children, some of which are spreading alarmingly fast. The study will involve scientists from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and the Environmental Protection Agency.

February 16, 2005 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

Comments

The comments to this entry are closed.