OUR STATE FAIR IS A GREAT STATE FAIR!
(except for the e.coli)

Twenty-three Florida children have come down with e.coli infections after petting goats, sheep and cows from the worst traveling petting zoo EVER.


WE'RE STILL TELLING COUSIN JACK TO KEEP HIS HANDS OFF TINY GIRL -WE'RE NOT THE ROOSEVELTS, FOR PITY'S SAKE.

A new study shows that it's not so bad for first cousins to marry, birth-defects-wise. In fact, state laws barring cousins from marching down the aisle are “a form of genetic discrimination," says Robin Bennett, associate director of the medical genetics clinic at the University of Washington. And she's probably right about that, but we'd take advocates' concerns more seriously if their national organization didn't go by the acronym CUDDLE (Cousins United to Defeat Discriminating Laws through Education).

NIGHTMARE SCENARIO: A SPOTTER SCREAMS "GOOSE!" AND A GROUP OF AGENTS BREAK INTO A DESPERATE SPRINT TO SAVE THE MOTHER MALLARD

A family of ducks has taken up residence right in front of the U.S. Treasury Building, where they are receiving Secret Service protection. And given the success of this, and this, we expect a picture book on "The Treasury Ducks" to be on Barnes and Noble shelves by fall.

IF WE WERE VARIETY, WE'D CALL THIS ONE:
"DOWN UNDER WAGS: WIGGLES NIX NIC, CROWE"

That's right: The Wiggles - Jeff, Murray, Greg, and the Blue guy - are Australia's wealthiest entertainers, outclassing Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe by grossing $34.5 million in 2004. AC/DC was fourth on the list. Which makes us think:

1. We should buy more AC/DC albums.
2. Has that fey pirate who chases the Wiggles around gotten around to suing Johnny Depp for stealing his act in "Pirates of the Caribbean"?

April 4, 2005 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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