SMALL FELLOW SAYS HE AND HIS FRIENDS LIKE TO PRETEND THEY'RE KILLING GIRLS WHEN THEY PLAY AT RECESS -- KINDA LIKE THE MAKERS OF THIS COMMERCIAL.

The UN Mine Action Service's campaign to rid the world of land mines is laudable and beyond debate. Very much debatable, however, is the public service spot they created to boost the campaign's visibility and to guilt suburban parents into supporting them. The ad, which you can see here, features gung-ho girl soccer players trotting out onto the field for the start of a game when, boom, one of them trips a land mine and gets blown up. The tag line: "If there were land mines here, would you stand for them anywhere?"

To the shock of, well, absolutely no one, most American networks have declined to air the spot; the History Channel showed it once, in the middle of the night, after which it received numerous complaints from insomniacs that now they REALLY couldn't get to sleep.

OUR HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS COULD ALSO RECOGNIZE THIS TELLTALE SMELL. UNFORTUNATELY, THEY WEREN'T SO MUCH SEARCHING FOR METH USERS.

An Illinois state lawmaker wants to supply teachers and day-care providers with scratch-and-sniff cards carrying the telltale smell of methamphetamines, so that they can identify kids who have used meth or been exposed to its production in their homes.

"Everybody's probably smelled marijuana or heard it, or smelled it if they were even at a concert. But methamphetamine has a very distinct smell that smells like cat urine." . . . . So Michael McAuliffe has won house approval to provide certain professionals with scratch and sniff cards so they can compare a meth smell with unusual odors they might detect on the clothing, hair, or skin of their students, indicating the child had been exposed to the drug's production or use.

Sounds like a great plan -- until a kid who changed his kitty-litter box on his way out the door for school gets busted for using meth.

April 8, 2005 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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