AND HOW WAS YOUR FATHER'S DAY?

Whosyourdaddyposter1

At FD.com headquarters, the day began sweetly, with Small, Tiny, and Loving Mother emerging at 8:30, gifts in hand, to find us at our Mac. "Happy Freelance Father's Day!" they called.

Loving Mother had her traditional Father's Day gift - matching polo shirts to be worn all day by FD, Small, and Tiny, this year in "raspberry" (also known as "pink").

Later that morning, we purchased a plastic yellow baseball bat for Fellow (for $1.19! Including hard plastic ball! Is there a better toy bargain in the land?), and hit some balls in the playground, which was great fun, until he fell into a slump immediately after we agreed to end our game as soon as he got one more hit. A crowd of other parents gathered around us to watch his extended at-bat -- and our extended debate over when to call the game -- and they exploded in cheers when he finally scorched a hard grounder into the corner, enabling us to leave the scene.

Swimming, shopping, and train-track assembly followed, making for an altogether lovely day -- oh, yeah, except for TinyGirl staying awake until 12:45 a.m.

ATHLETES ARE NOT ROLE MODELS.
FATHERS ARE ROLE MODELS.
THEREFORE, ATHLETES WHO ARE FATHERS ARE ROLE MODELS?

In honor of Father's Day, we offer two athletes in the news for their unique but disparate approaches to parenting.

First, NBA superstar Shaquille O'Neal, who tells us in the pages of this month's Esquire:

The other day, two of my children were fighting. I made them hold hands, and I tied them together with a sock. I said, "Now, I want you to go upstairs and come back, and when you do, you're going to say 'I love you' to each other." When they came back, they were laughing.

They don't call him "The Big Aristotle" for nothing.

And then there's Tebucky Jones, formerly of your Super Bowl champion New England Patriots, and profiled in the current issue of ESPN the Magazine. Jones grew up tough on the mean streets of New Britain (don't kid yourself; there are mean streets everywhere). He and his wife had their kids while they were still teenagers, and the family struggled when the children were little. Then Jones became a first-round draft pick with a $2.65 million bonus. The kids went upper class and never looked back. But Daddy became increasingly concerned that the children were becoming "pudding pops," his term for going soft. (Hey, cut him some slack: New Britain slang ain't exactly Compton's.)

By the spring of 2004, he decided there was only one option. He piled his three kids into his Mercedes and drove them 10 minutes down the hill to his old Boys & Girls Club in New Britain. At the curb, he simply opened the car door and said, "Bye." And all the inner-city kids inside saw it. They saw three pampered kids duck out of a Mercedes and walk smack into their world.

Here comes the raw meat.

Long story short, the experiment was a success. Jones' two boys and a girl began talking smack, wearing do rags, and playing through injuries. As the nonjudgmental gang at ESPN put it, "It isn't by the book, but ... Jones could be the NFL Father of the Year for this."

WE HAVEN'T CLICKED ON THE LINK, AND DON'T YOU CLICK ON IT EITHER, SICKO

Recently, we Googled ourselves and found this link mixed in among the listings of Web sites illegally reprinting our published articles:

Tiny Girl

... International Full Register CBKC/FCI transfers to the AKC.    Gary Drevitch Natalie puckers up, March 2003. A girl and her elephant, November 2003. ...

pornrealityteen.com/info/Tiny-Girl - 15k - Supplemental Result - Cached - Similar pages

June 17, 2005 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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