ELMO 1, COMMUNITY COLLEGES 0

David Broder's column the other day is well worth reading, as it details the cuts which needed to be made in the budgets of the departments of Health and Human Services, Education, and Labor, in order to restore the $100 million in funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting which so many of us had demanded. Yes, Big Bird will be back, along with many other programs for both young and old, but the moeny had to come from somewhere, and in this case that meant lower funding for job-training, community colleges, and similar programs for needy families. There's a civics lesson for the kids.

And here's another: LA Weekly reminds us how much PBS still lost in this round of budget battles - about $100 million - and how much credibility it still has left to lose.

WE'VE DESIGNED A NEW PLAYGROUND PROTOTYPE BASED ON THESE RECOMMENDATIONS - KIDS CAN CLIMB A SET OF SIX STAIRS, THEN SIT DOWN QUIETLY

MSNBC handed over some of its valuable Web space to a consumer-product safety expert whose guidelines for safe playgrounds disqualify every one we've ever taken the kids to.

IF THE VOICE OF "CAILLOU" SHOULD EVER PASS AWAY, PBS HAS OUR PERMISSION TO LEAVE THE CHARACTER MUTE

The recent deaths of almost everyone involved with doing the voices for Winnie the Pooh characters inspired Slate to take a look at how producers replace the voices of beloved characters when these situations occur. Of course, it doesn't always work out. Has anyone heard the voices being used for Kermit the Frog these days? They don't come close to Jim Henson, and every time we hear one of them, it just reminds us that he's gone.

IF KEEPING SMALL FELLOW OUT OF THE MILITARY REQUIRES US TO SURRENDER OUR RIGHT TO DEBATE ISSUES OF WAR AND PEACE, JUST LET US KNOW. WE'LL SIGN THE PAPERS RIGHT NOW.

Also in Slate earlier this week, Christopher Hitchens examined the extremes of the Iraqi war debate in which blowhards like John Gregory Dunne refuse to "break bread with a man who favored war but was not willing to sacrifice his own son." Hitchens goes on:

 

The fathering of a grown male child does not entitle you to exclude from the argument anybody who is not thus favored. A childless person is not prevented from speaking in time of war. Nor is a person whose children are too young to serve. Nor are those of enlistment age, who are unlikely to have sons of their own. Nor is a person who has disabled children. One could easily extend the list of citizens who have exactly the same right to opine on their country's right to fight—or not to fight ....

 

Nobody has to join the armed forces, and those who do are old enough to vote, get married, and do almost everything legal except buy themselves a drink. Why infantilize young people who are entitled to every presumption of adulthood?
 

EXCEPTIONS ARE: "I'D BE A BETTER DAD, IF THEY EVER WENT TO SLEEP, IF THEY ATE WITH FORKS AND SPOONS, IF THEY STOPPED GRABBING OUR EYEGLASSES ... "

Our friends at the National Fatherhood Initiative are attempting to catch a ride on the WWJD/LiveStrong rubber bracelet bandwagon with this sleek little number. It carries their "No ifs" slogan, as in:

Have you ever thought, "I'd be a better Dad, if I had more money...
  if I had more time...
  if I had less work to do...
  if..."
 
  Dads, the reality is that your children need you -- no matter what! There are "No Ifs" when it comes to being the best Dad you can be.
 

"No ifs"? Well, it's not exactly "Where's the beef?" but maybe the guys who came up with it have kids who refuse to go to bed, too.

"Choose breakfast. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family ...  Choose your future. Choose breakfast ... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose breakfast. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got Cocoa Puffs?"

General Mills, the people who brought you Trix, Lucky Charms, and Honey Nut Cheerios, demand that your kids Choose Breakfast. Their new national campaign comes complete with "aspirational" TV commercials and a solemn pledge that combines the grammar of the national anthem with the structure of a note passed in third grade:

I, ______, hereby promise to choose a healthy breakfast and to be active each and every day to help me get going and have energy for:    

    * school
    * sports
    * favorite activities and hobbies
    * weekend family stuff
    * trainspotting

Lest you be misled, this campaign has nothing to do with promoting General Mills' fine line of presweetened cereals. Kids can eat whatever they like for breakfast. However, if they happen to choose Trix or Cocoa Puffs, the company has found a scientist willing to applaud their decision:

“Those who would criticize the sugar in presweetened cereals need to look at the science,” said Susan Crockett, Ph.D., Bell Institute of Health and Nutrition. “Cereal, both presweetened and nonsweetened, makes up less than 5 percent of a child’s daily sugar intake. But in return, a bowl of cereal with milk provides a wide variety of important nutrients including calcium, iron, folic acid and B vitamins all for about 120 calories per serving.”

In other words, shame on you for frowning on Trix. Don't you know it's better than nothing? Silly rabbit.

LOCAL SCHMUCK CHUCK'S BIG CATS RUN AMUCK

A 10-year-old boy is in critical condition after being attacked by a lion and tiger which a local businessman kept on his used-car lot. And that should just about do it for Chuck Mock's BestBuy Auto of Little Falls, Minnesota.

July 1, 2005 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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