Produced by Gary Drevitch
NO, THE NETWORK ISN'T JUST FOR YOUNG TEENS. IT'S FOR PEOPLE OF ALL AGES WHO WANT TO STOMP ON A PIECE OF ANIMATION HISTORY.
Fifty years after his debut in "One Froggy Evening," a Chuck Jones masterpiece of animation tragedy with the relentless inevitability of "Macbeth," modern network executives have killed Michigan J. Frog. Several years ago, the singing frog made a remarkable recovery from his crippling stagefright and became the spokesamphibian for the WB network. But now, "In my opinion the frog is dead and buried," network chairman Garth Ancier recently told the Television Critics Association.
WB executive David Janollari explained the decision to send Michigan to the blender thusly:
"[The frog] was a symbol that was--especially in the extensive testing that we did--that perpetuated the young teen feel of the network, and that is not the image we want to put to our audience." He went on to say that the execution is part of a concerted effort to prove that the network isn't just for young teens, but is also "a destination for the segment that's 25-34."
Janollari did not go on to unveil a new network symbol more in line with its older, upscale audience: Frederick W. Capon.
MSNBC BLOWS THE LID OFF KINDERGARTEN
The network uncovers a scandal directly affecting our nation's youngest, most defenseless citizens:
You Can Just Call It Kinder-grind
.... In addition to the three "R's" (reading, writing and arithmetic), 5-year-olds in some schools are learning science, social studies and even map reading.
ALL TOO OFTEN IN TODAY'S SCHOOLS, WHEN KIDS GO UP TO THE LAB TO SEE WHAT'S ON THE SLAB, THEY FIND NOTHING THERE
A new National Research Council study blasts the state of high-school science labs.
September 13, 2005 | Permalink |
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