THESE JUDGES ARE GOOD EGGS

The Tennessee Supreme Court made a quite reasonable ruling on a parental-rights case this week, awarding parental rights to a woman who was artificially inseminated with a donor egg and her boyfriend's sperm, then gave birth to triplets. The couple has since broken up, but the court ruled that even though the woman has no genetic connection to the children, she is their legal mother, equal as a parent to her ex-boyfriend. The implication for other reproductive-technology cases is clear, and positive.

OK GRANDMA, JUST STEP ASIDE, HAND THE VACCINE TO TIMMY, AND NOBODY GETS HURT

Slate has a legitimately fascinating article this week about why it's so inefficient to line up the elderly for flu shots when a new strain breaks out. Short answer: Their weakened immune systems often don't respond to the vaccine, rendering much of the effort wasted. What, then, is the best way to protect the population from flu? Immunize all the kids - and to answer your immediate questions, yes, we can do it with a nasal spray, but no, we can't do it without the government stepping up to make it happen:

... The researchers confirmed that the flu spreads primarily via toddlers and school children, whose immature immune systems are easily infected and who have lousy hygiene. Kids often don't wipe their noses, wash their hands, or cover their mouths when they sneeze or cough, and they touch everything. That's why they catch the flu twice as often as and much earlier in the season than older people do. For an airborne virus, kids are the conduit of choice.

Fortunately, though, kids are also the conduit most easily blocked. Their immune systems respond wonderfully to flu vaccine. A whopping 90 percent are successfully immunized by a flu shot, compared to the 28 percent figure for the elderly and 60 percent for middle-aged adults.

As it is, America's death rate from the flu is soaring even as our vaccination of the elderly steadily rises. But if we look to (yes) Japan, we'd apparently find a plummeting flu death rate as immunization of the young has increased.

Coming soon to a newspaper near you: Enlightened parents from Brooklyn who refuse to allow their kids to get the flu vaccine ...

DEAR "SIMPLE LIFE" PRODUCERS: I WOULD WELCOME EITHER NICOLE OR PARIS INTO MY HOME, AND WOULD BE MOST WILLING TO SHOW THEM THE ROPES OF, HEH HEH, HOUSEKEEPING. I ASSURE YOU I AM QUITE FRISKY AND WILLING TO STEP UP FOR YOUR VIEWERS. I AM PREPARED TO MAKE REPEATED ADVANCES AT EITHER YOUNG LADY. IN FACT, I HAVE SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR THIS SEASON'S EPISODES: 1. WE PUT ON SWIMSUITS AND WASH THE CAR TOGETHER; 2. BOSTON CREAM PIE FIGHT! ....

MSNBC reports that the producer of Paris Hilton's reality show, "The Simple Life," are seeking some randy dads to, how do you say, put her up this season, just to spice things up for viewers and destroy their marriages:

The concept for the new show has former best friends Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie ... trying to be surrogate moms in strange households. A casting call has gone out to find families willing to be filmed, and a source familiar with the search says that the execs have declared: "The friskier the dad, the better." "They’re looking for dads who are likely to make a play for Paris or Nicole," says a source ...

OH. OK, THEN. NEVERMIND.

Fox cancels "The Simple Life," announcing that the network's "midseason schedule allowed no room for the fourth installment of the series." Apparently, part of the problem was that this season's plot had to be scuttled:

According to the new TV Guide, the plan was to shoot the feuding women separately as they gathered tips from families on how to become perfect simple wives. Though Richie remains engaged to DJ AM (Adam Goldstein), Hilton's called-off engagement to Paris Latsis required producers to retool. 

Will anyone else join us in applauding USA Today for its use of "retool" in a sentence about Paris Hilton needing to find a new fiancé?

HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO BET THAT WHEN THE SHOW AIRS, ALL THE GUYS IN THE LOCKER ROOM ARE GOING TO START CALLING HIM "TOUCHY" FEELY?

New York Giants kicker Jay Feely and his wife, Rebecca, agree to have their new child's birth be filmed for TLC's maternity-room-porn series, "A Baby Story." But the couple are no mere exhibitionists. Having suffered a miscarriage, and having each lost a sibling, they hope to inspire viewers:

"There is so much more to life than football, and we just wanted to highlight that," Rebecca Feely said. "Whether it's the death of a sibling or the birth of a baby, it's such a opportunity to see God's hand in it, the bigger picture in life."

OK, we surrender; when is that show on?

AND ANOTHER THING, I DON'T LIKE THOSE UGG BOOTS. NO MAN WILL EVER MARRY YOU AND FATHER YOUR CHILDREN IF YOU KEEP WEARING THOSE THINGS.

Fark.com linked to columnist "Vox Day" this week; he's a Christian libertarian - and Mensa member! - with some advice for all the young ladies out there anxious to bear children, but trapped in feminist empowerment fantasies:

1.  Don't engage in casual dating relationships after 18. ...
3.  Settle earlier rather than later. ...
4.  Let everyone know that marriage and children is your ultimate goal. ...
7.  Shed your man-hating friends. ...
10.  Remember that love is ... not a feeling.

Have a nice weekend, girls!

October 15, 2005 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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