THIS ONE IS FOR ANYONE OUT THERE STILL NOT TAKING THAT WHOLE PEANUT ALLERGY THING SERIOUSLY

A teenage boy has a peanut snack, then kisses his girlfriend - who has the allergy, and dies from the reaction.

NEXT TIME, TRY A PACIFIER

Police are searching for a Florida couple belived to have killed their three-month-old daughter last year by dosing her with vodka to keep her from crying:

... the parents told officers that for about a month they had fed their daughter a bottle filled with a mixture of water, sugar and vodka to help her sleep. Small quantities of alcohol have historically been used to quiet crying babies, but authorities said the amount fed to Makeisha was extreme ... the infant had a blood alcohol level of 0.47 percent ... for a baby to ingest that much alcohol would be the equivalent of a 160-pound adult drinking 18 beers.

COMING TOMORROW: FREELANCE DAD SHARES HIS ETCHINGS ON THIS WEB SITE

In an unrelated story, scientists say that artists and poets have sex lives twice as active as other people ...

WE ARE NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERSHIP APPLICATIONS FOR OUR NEW ORGANIZATION, PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL TREATMENT OF DADS

Peta1_2 We have never fished, we have never hunted, we cannot imagine a worse way to spend a day. However, we're also not down with PETA's new anti-fishing ad campaign, targeted at kids, and carrying the catchy title, "Your Daddy Kills Animals!"

Inside the PETA flyer, kids will read:

“Imagine that a man dangles a piece of candy in front of you. ... As you grab the candy, a huge metal hook stabs through your hand and you’re ripped off the ground. You fight to get away, but it doesn’t do any good... That would be an awful trick to play on someone, wouldn’t it?”

Wow, yeah, that would suck. And while kids try to come to grips with that horrifying image, the good people at PETA put a face on their fears - Dad's:

"Since your daddy is teaching you the wrong lessons about right and wrong, you should teach him fishing is killing. Until your daddy learns it's not fun to kill, keep your doggies and kitties away from him. He's so hooked on killing defenseless animals, they could be next."

In fact, if your daddy has a gun, why don't you find it right now - go ahead, go get it - and then grab your pets, run to your bedroom and lock the door. Are you there? Good. Now, crouch behind the bed, dial 911, and tell the police that your Daddy is coming to kill Scraps and Mittens, and that they should come quick and arrest him, because he's a bad man, and by the way, fur is murder.

Happy as we always are to get our lessons in values from an animal-rights group whose major claim to fame is plastering pictures of naked (or half-naked) women all around our cities, we'd ask them to kindly refrain from teaching young kids that their daddies are bloodthirsty killers. For if you follow their line of reasoning, kids should also cower in fear at the sight of their school lunch ladies, or their cousins who work at McDonald's, or any of the other millions of adults toiling in the animal-death industry.

Tucker Carlson of MSNBC invited Bruce Friedrich, PETA's director of farmed animal campaigns, on his show the other night for the purpose of disemboweling him about the new campaign. Here's just one highlight from this high-level prime-time debate:

CARLSON: ... you're very concerned about the feelings of fish.  But you don't care at all about the feelings of kids, or their parents.
FRIEDRICH:  That's not fair. 

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T READ ROSS ANY PETA FLYERS

051123_teacherspet_hmedhmedium1_1Ross is an Irish setter and a trained therapy dog who is helping Maryland kids gain confidence in their reading skills by serving as a nonjudgmental listener.

“If they make a mistake, the dog isn’t going to correct them,” [Ross' partner Barbara] Murgo said. “The dog is not going to laugh at them. It’s just going to listen and love every word they say.”

Reading Education Assistance Dogs like Ross are being welcomed into schools across the country to support struggling readers. In fact, there are now 750 dog-and-owner teams visiting classrooms in 45 states. To answer your first question, Yes, all of the teams are volunteers so there's no cost to the involved schools. To answer your second question, No, of course an actual literacy expert thinks this idea is for the -- well, you know:

Catherine Snow, an expert on childhood literacy development at Harvard University, said anything that helps poor readers find enjoyment in books is good — but isn’t enough on its own. “If the kids are freaked out about being corrected, and this gets them over the hump, then fine,” Snow said about reading to dogs. “But if they need to be guided to attend more carefully to the words and the way you sound out those letters, and all this does is give them a respite, then it really isn’t going to help reading at all.”

BUT THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO YOUR TWINS. YOUR TWINS ARE BRILLIANT. WE SWEAR.

A shocking new study out of Scotland has shown that twin children tend to have substantially lower I.Q.'s than their non-twin siblings. Sounds pretty bad, until you find out that:

... [t]he authors acknowledge that their study is based on children born more than 50 years ago and that a study of children born more recently might produce different results.

So . . . nevermind.

THE MOST HARROWING SET OF ARTICLES WE'VE READ IN A LONG WHILE

It's Newsweek's cover package on anorexia's youngest victims - girls (and boys) as young as 9 suffering from the disease with "the highest mortality rate of any mental illness, including depression" - and the scientists struggling to find out why the disorder seems to be affecting a wider range of people than it once did.

As part of the package, James S. Berrien, president and publisher of Forbes Magazine Group, bravely and forthrightly shares the story of how his family has dealt with his daughter's battle with anorexia, telling readers:

It has helped tremendously that we have been open with everyone from the very beginning. For Lacey, I know, this has been hard. But we all realize that there is no shame here, no one to blame. We are a closer and more open family as a result. As a dad, I have learned that I can't make everything better ...

That must be a tough lesson, and we hope we never have to learn it.

November 30, 2005 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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