TODAY'S ADDITION TO YOUR LIST OF MEDICAL WORRIES YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT

The incidence of strokes in babies is on the rise: About 1,000 infants a year suffer a stroke during the newborn period or before birth — plus anywhere from 3,000 to 5,000 children from age 1 month to 18 years. To add insult to (permanent) injury, it's hard for doctors, or parents, to recognize the effects quicky enough to deliver the correct diagnosis and the necessary treatment. Sleep well.

FOR NASTY HEAD LICE, DEATH BY MOISTURIZER

A California doctor claimed he'd whipped up a new and effective non-toxic lotion that would suffocate head lice, and he sold the product to parents for $285 a bottle. Turns out, what he was actually selling was repackaged Cetaphil. The good news? It still killed the lice.

AND AFTER THE FIRST DAY OF HUNTING SEASON IN PENNSYLVANIA, OUR SCORE IS DEER 2, LOCAL BOYS 0

Two kids are shot in the leg on the first day of deer-hunting season in Pennsylvania, one by himself and one by his dad, whose aim - and priorities - were a bit off:

Rodney Gilbert, 45, of East Stroudsburg, was hunting with his son in the Delaware State Forest in Middle Smithfield Township when a deer walked between the two. Gilbert fired, hitting the boy in the leg, according to ... the state Game Commission.

AFTER HE CLEARS THE KIDS OFF THE STREETS OFF THE WALES, STAPLETON PLANS TO USE HIS DEVICE TO SEND A MESSAGE ONLY SUPERMAN WILL BE ABLE TO HEAR, LEADING THE MAN OF STEEL TO AN ISOLATED LOCATION WHERE HE WILL FIND THE SOURCE OF THE TRANSMISSION - ENCASED IN DEADLY KRYPTONITE!

Welsh inventor Howard Stapleton made the world news recently for creating a device which emits an irritating high-pitched ultrasonic sound which cannot be heard by people over 30. He plans to package his invention as a device to help municipalities clear rowdy or loitering teens off city streets.

AND THIS, FROM OUR SISTER SITE, FREELANCE_BAD_DAD.COM

As we headed to the chilly Berkshires this weekend, we discovered during a last-minute weather check that we'd be driving straight into serious snow conditions, so we ran back in to collect Small and Tiny's winter boots.

Now, Fellow had a new pair of boots, hand-me-downs from family, which we swore he'd tried on earlier this fall, and that they fit. When we arrived in western Mass., we tried to put the boots on, over his vocal and pleading protests that they were too small. No, we insisted, they're just a little stiff, but we know they fit. Just try to get your foot all the way in. And so he did.

He whimpered as he walked around in them during the very brief periods we ended up being outside, and took them off immediately as soon as he got the chance. When he started limping, though, we began to think there might actually be something to his complaints. So when we got back to the city, we strolled over to Harry's Shoes to try to find a new pair of boots. And we did. The new boots are size 13. The boots we forced onto his now-blistered feet? Size 11.

Oops.

MANHATTAN'S PRESCHOOL-AGE POPULATION REACHED 97,000 IN 2004 - AND TINY GIRL WON'T SHARE HER TOYS WITH ANY OF THEM

The Times examines the remarkable recent baby boom in Manhattan, in which the under-5 population rose 26 percent from 2000 to 2004, and details why this means that Tiny Girl will have no chance of ever being admitted into a top kindergarten program.

NOT LIKE IT'S ACTUALLY GOING TO HELP ANYONE, WHAT WITH THOSE 97,000 KIDS CLAMORING FOR SPOTS

New York magazine's recent guide to getting your child admitted into elite city kindergartens is, for that magazine, surprisingly level-headed. For those of you living outside New York City, however, we understand that it will sound completely looney tunes.

December 6, 2005 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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