FINALLY, A PACIFIER THAT REALLY SUCKS

871 Since we haven't been keeping up with our celeb weeklies like Life & Style and OK!, we didn't realize that the latest celebrity must-have is a Swarovski-crystal-studded pacifier from Alexa & Jack, Miami's purveyors of "Baby Bling." The pacifiers, which come in models like the one at right, or in your own custom design, start at $35, which is quite a price for an accessory you'll need to replace about 10 times.

ENJOY YOUR SOY MILK, LADIES (AND FUTURE LADIES)

The National Institutes of Health will review the research on the safety of soy-based baby formula and a plant estrogen found in soy products, to determine whether they have any effect on human development and reproduction. Sales of soy-based drinks have been soaring, in part because nervous parents have been turning to soy milk (hopefully calcium-fortified). The parents fear the possible side effects (as yet unproven) of bovine growth hormone in cow's milk. We've interviewed pediatric nutrition experts in our civilian role as a parenting writer and they've said, one, you've got to get milk into your kids to build teeth and bones, and two, the potential risks of soy milk should not be so easily dismissed by the soy-milk company executives who claim that, basically, millions of Asians can't be wrong (as one did in the Wall Street Journal article on this controversy last week, not available online). One American Dietetic Association leader once told us, "Is it too much plant estrogen to a young child? If you look at Asian countries, the answer is no. But our genetics are not the same as Asians'."

WE'D LISTEN TO OFFERS IF WE HAD THIS OPPORTUNITY AGAIN, BUT ONLY FROM COMPANIES WHOSE NAMES WOULD BE A GOOD FIT FOR US, LIKE GODADDY OR BASSMASTER

A couple of weeks back, a baby boy was named ChamberMaster Mead, after the software company that won his temporary "naming rights" in a charity auction held by his father, Chris. The company donated $375 for two weeks of naming rights, which seems like a bargain. Consulting firm Horizon Industries has already ponied up for the next two weeks. Will the idea catch on? Perhaps, but we can't ever see ourselves telling our father, "Dad, we considered naming the new baby after Mom, rest her soul, but Fatburger offered us $675 for his naming rights, so how could we say no?"

NO WORRIES HERE. WE'VE ALREADY GOT FELLOW HOOKED ON OUR VIEWMASTER REEL COLLECTION (WE THINK)

Kkk1 The Journal the other day ran a hilarious article on the quixotic efforts of offbeat collectors to pass on their love of toothpicks, milk glasses, and commemorative pencils to their offspring. Turns out, "of the 37 million Americans who identified themselves as collectors in 2000, just 11% were under the age of 36." Kids don't even want to inherit their parents' worthless crap for its sentimental value. There's the miniature-gun collector whose three kids "wouldn't give you a twenty-dollar bill for any of it." Then there's the used-instant-lottery-ticket buff whose daughter says she'll try to hold onto a few of them after he scratches his last card, but who worries,  "I just hope she puts them in the sheet protectors." (Um, wouldn't unused lottery tickets have a greater value as a collectible? Just asking . . .)

The Journal article does point out that the state quarter program has had a tremendous impact in fostering a new collecting urge in young kids nationwide. We know Fellow loves putting new quarters in his state book. (So do we, frankly.) And he doesn't know it yet, but there are about a dozen boxes of mylar-bagged comic books from the 70s and 80s in the corner of his closet. What will be their fate?

March 21, 2006 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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