AND NOW WE TURN TO SMALL FELLOW FOR A TWO-MINUTE REBUTTAL

Nick Schulz at Slate ignored other leading candidates - like, say, the guillotine or Jagermeister - to name the automatic toilet the worst invention in history. When we told this to Fellow, he said,  "What are you TALKING about? Automatic toilets -- ARE GREAT! Are you a CRAZY DOG?"

Actually, Fellow loves anything automatic that he finds in the bathroom, but has a special fondness for the automatic paper towel dispenser. After he wipes his own hands, he always makes sure to wave his hand across the electronic eye so a new towel will come out. "That's for the next person," our civic-minded friend assures us.

LET OUR SEDER GO

We like our seders long and boring, but apparently other people seek a condensed version. On Slate today, Michael Rubiner offers "The Two-Minute Haggadah" to families who really want to wrap things up in time for tonight's new episode of  "Lost." Here's an excerpt:

The four kinds of children and how to deal with them:
Wise child—explain Passover.
Simple child—explain Passover slowly.
Silent child—explain Passover loudly.
Wicked child—browbeat in front of the relatives.

Alternatively, for those of you looking to add to your seder instead of subtracting from it, you could do worse than to insert a few selections from Eric Kimmel''s "Wonders and Miracles: A Passover Companion" between your four cups. We found a happy poem about the afikomen that Fellow read aloud last night.


Speaking of children: We hid some matzoh. Whoever finds it gets five bucks.



THE EXODUS: POINT AND COUNTERPOINT

Plaguesbag31 One of the most troubling aspects of the Passover story is the 10 plagues. We drop a bit of wine on our plate after reciting each one, as a way of showing our empathy for the suffering of the Egyptians, but at the same time, many families grasp the plagues as a "fun" entry to the story for children. Sure, plagues bags with collapsing cattle, dark sunglasses, and food-coloring blood may make little kids happy (and keep them occupied as you muddle through the "boring parts"), but we imagine that one of the key signposts of maturity in a child is the year he or she questions why Egyptian "civilians" needed to suffer so much. To speed along that process, or just to bring your seder to a screeching halt, help yourself to this poem Radosh posted today.

April 12, 2006 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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