THIS WON'T BE A PROBLEM FOR OUR NEW BABY, BECAUSE OF COURSE FREELANCE DAD IS ONLY 27

Sorry, old dads, but the Science Times does not even try to sugarcoat it for you today:

As men get older, their sperm deteriorates, a new study has found, and it is likely that the damaged sperm of older men is a significant factor in certain specific birth defects and in increasing the risk of abnormal pregnancies.

[Click here for the full study, via Slate]

"I TRIED TO CHANGE A POOPY DIAPER ONCE. . . BUT THE ODOR WAS HUGE. . ."

Barron Trump is 10 weeks old, and his father says he hasn't changed a diaper yet.

WE ALL KNOW WHERE THIS RELATIONSHIP IS HEADED

05homeschool1902 The Times reports this week on the maybe-trend of private teachers being hired to educate the children of the city's elite one-on-one in their homes. Of course, child stars and actors have long used such services, but what's striking to us is the realization that even at $70-$110 per hour, private in-home teachers cost just about the same per year as some of the city's leading private schools.

And you even save about $40 you'd have otherwise spent on a yearbook.



MOMS, WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR, DO YOU SEE BRITNEY SPEARS?

There's a predictable - and, we begrudgingly admit, wholly justified - backlash against the national tittering about Britney Spears' maternal foibles. Parenting magazine ran an online survey which showed 75% of moms felt the media had been too harsh on the hillbilly superstar. As one told AP:

"If someone was watching me 24/7, I'm sure they would find any number of things I've done that would be questionable," [Stacey] Thaler says. "Almost dropped my kids? Definitely. Raising kids is hard — no one can really stand in judgment unless they're much closer to the situation."

OK, JUST ONE MORE: WHEN BRITNEY READ THIS PIECE, SHE ASKED, "NOW WHY WOULD BEIN' BIRTHED IN THE MORNIN' HURT A BABY?"

As Babies Are Born Earlier, They Risk Problems Later

NO, REALLY, THIS IS DEFINITELY THE LAST ONE: HASBRO ANNOUNCED IT STILL PLANS TO MARKET THE BRITNEY SPEARS MOMMY PLAY SET, COMPLETE WITH TOY WINE COOLERS AND FIRST-AID KIT. CAR SEAT SOLD SEPARATELY.

Hasbro is shelving plans to produce a line of Pussycat Doll dolls for girls. In its statement, the company claims the Dolls' record company had plotted out a "creative direction and images for the group" focused on "a much older target" than Hasbro had anticipated, and so the release of the dolls for young girls would be "inappropriate." Just so we're all clear, the Pussycat Dolls is a pop group based on a strip-club act.

Credit for unintentionally hilarious line of the day goes to MTV, which began its report on the Dolls with this: "It looks like the Pussycat Dolls won't get their plastic makeover after all."

ALSO RECENTLY UNCOVERED BY THE TIMES' INVESTIGATIVE REPORTERS: MANY EMPLOYEES SURF NON-BUSINESS-RELATED WEB SITES WHILE ON THE JOB, AND MANY PEDESTRIANS CROSS THE STREET BEFORE THE SIGN TURNS TO WALK

Turns out, many parents sometimes put their children in front of the TV just because they feel like they need a break from them.

STAY TUNED

Fellow's first sleepover is coming up tomorrow. Check back later this week for the report.

June 7, 2006 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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