WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU A DEATH TRAP, MAKE LEMONADE

The 12-year-old who died after riding Disney's "Rock 'n' Roller Coaster" in Florida the other day turns out to have had a congential heart defect, according to preliminary autopsy conclusions. (Also, as it happens, there have been at least 15 Disney-ride deaths since 1989.) This has been the determination, actually, in several of the recent theme-park-ride deaths, which makes one wonder whether Disney shouldn't license its rides to cardiologists as medical-testing equipment, because if you do happen to have an undiagnosed congenital heart defect, there's nothing's better than a Disney ride to bring it out into the light of day.

OK, CAUTION IS CAUTION, BUT WE CAN'T REALLY GET BEHIND THE MESSAGE THIS IS SENDING TO AMERICA'S FARMERS

The National Zoo, in what we'll conservatively call an excess of caution, has relocated the ducks and chickens from its children's petting area. This, of course, is to protect visiting children from the avian flu. Which the animals don't have. And which no bird in America has had, as far as we know. And if one did, it wouldn't bloody likely be any of the ones living in a zoo.

June 30, 2006 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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