AS LONG AS THEY'RE NOT SMOKING AROUND THE KIDS. THAT WOULD BE WRONG.

The Times Thursday Styles section celebrates suburban moms who are cool enough to put back a few drinks during their afternoon playdates. As one maternal tippler said:

“You just automatically relax. . . It’s before you take the first sip, as soon as your hand touches the bottle. It’s like, ‘Man, I’ve gone through the day, I need to treat myself.’ ”

Yup, nothing to worry about there.

HE ADDED, "OH, AND BALD. I LIKE 'EM BALD."


Moby_150x200_1
From MSNBC:

Techno musician Moby says that if he ever has children, he hopes they’re gay.

 

“They are less likely to get into a fight and less likely to date rape people,” the musician says, reports WENN. “I’m straight but I’ve grown up around gay people and gay clubs. They are superior to straight people. If you have a gay child you’re more inclined to be a prouder parent.”

GIVEN THAT DECISIONS MADE BY THIS OFFICE WILL POTENTIALLY HAVE AS MUCH AFFECT ON WHAT YOUR CHILD DOES IN THE CLASSROOM AS DECISIONS MADE IN THE OVAL OFFICE, YOU SHOULD CARE, TOO

Tom Vander Ark is stepping down as education director of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation later this year. Given that Vander Ark has already spent about $3.4 billion on education initiatives and scholarships, and that the foundation's new president says, “We think we have got years ahead of us before we see our role ending,” the new hire will instantly become one of the most important education  decision-makers in the country. How has the foundation done so far? Based on all that we've read, this quote from the Times sums it up pretty well:

Nancy Hoffman, a vice president at Jobs for the Future in Boston, an intermediary organization that the foundation has used, said that at first Mr. Vander Ark “was what I’d call a school reform romantic — free schools from the constraints imposed by districts and states, let teachers provide a rich curriculum and an intimate environment, and achievement will improve.”

But, Ms. Hoffman said, as he learned that some schools could produce good results but that many could not, the foundation tightened controls. “The portfolio of schools funded in the last few years looks considerably different than those from the early years,” she said. “Much more prescription about how to set up the school, what curriculum to use, what protocols for teachers and leaders.”

AFTER ALL, WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?

BURLESON — Youngsters in a suburban Fort Worth school district are being taught not to sit there like good boys and girls with their hands folded if a gunman invades the classroom, but to rush him and hit him with everything they got — books, pencils, legs and arms. “Getting under desks and praying for rescue from professionals is not a recipe for success,” said Robin Browne, a major in the British Army reserve and an instructor for Response Options, the company providing the training to the Burleson schools.

YES, IT'S AN OUTRAGE, BUT HASN'T AN INCIDENT LIKE THIS BEEN INEVITABLE SINCE THE DAY THE COMPANY DECIDED TO OPEN A THEME PARK IN FRANCE?

The Walt Disney Co. says it acted quickly to discipline Parisian theme park employees who made a notorious video (it's safe for work) of themselves simulating sex while wearing their hot, stifling character costumes. However, we at FD.com are considering taking legal action ourselves, as the plot of the video appears to borrow extensively from a film treatment we copyrighted back in 1991:

The video shows Minnie Mouse struggling to free herself as she is grabbed from behind by Goofy and then a giant snowman. Later, Mickey Mouse simulates sex with the snowman and Goofy does the same with either Chip or Dale, the chipmunks. . .

ROLE MODEL WATCH: T.O. EDITION

Terrell Owens' first book for children is on sale now, but despite the Dallas wide receiver's recent headlines, the book is only ranked about 31,000 on Amazon's sales list.

Thank God.

APPARENTLY, STRIPPERS ARE OVULATING ALL THE TIME

We're a little late to this party, but the recent UCLA study that concluded women dress flashier and more provocatively when they're ovulating continues to fascinate us. The fashion decisions are made subconsciously, the researchers say, and are driven by hormones.

We've laminated a summary of the study's conclusions and now keep it in our wallet, so that we'll remember to stay away from Loving Mother whenever she goes sleeveless and starts putting on the bling.

November 10, 2006 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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