LITTLE GUY UPDATE: BANGING OUT THOSE MILESTONES LIKE A PLAYER PIANO

Suc30006_2 A couple of days shy of the six-month mark, Little Guy sat up on his own, in the company of Fellow, who has been boasting of his achievement ever since. A day or so later, Little started propelling himself across the living-room floor via a complicated set of rolls, crawls, and slithers, and successfully turned on the DVD player. And after all that work, he woke up today with his first ear infection.

THE RICH ARE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME. THEY HAVE THE SAME PROBLEMS. THEY JUST HAVE THEM IN NICER BEDS. IN FACT, LET'S DESCRIBE THOSE  BEDS FOR YOU NOW.

The Times Home section this week uncorked a major investigation of co-sleeping in apartments nicer than yours, revealing both the quality of the beds children are rejecting:

. . .3-year-old daughter Carolina’s bed, which is a hammered-metal four-poster queen dressed in pink paisley sheets with a ruffle [is] “the bed I would have if I were single,” Ms. Costello [the style director of Domino magazine] said.

and the quality of the beds kids are climbing into instead:

Harrison, age 5, is splayed, sideways and snoring, across his parents’ king-size, Anglo-Indian four-poster. . . .

Fortunately for these parents, whose children are too sensitive for full-scale Ferberizing, there's a sleep consultant to the stars, one with an estimable pedigree:

Jean Kunhardt, a therapist and a director of Soho Parenting in Manhattan, a 19-year-old counseling service. . . is a granddaughter of Dorothy Kunhardt, the author of “Pat the Bunny,” the bedtime story so many were reared on.

OK, WHO HAD GEORGIA IN THE PEANUT-BUTTER SALMONELLA POOL?

Fudgie_whale_800x600 The feds have finally traced the strain of salmonella that sickened at least 370 peanut-butter users last month to a plant in Sylvester, GA. Apparently, the  strain had legs: It even made it into some Carvel ice-cream toppings. Needless to say, some Carvel customers have been feeling a little something in common with Fudgie the Whale lately.

LINGO WATCH: MOMBLOCKERS

In next week's New York, Amy Sohn will attempt to insert "momblocker" into the vernacular. What's a momblocker?

. . . I was slowly discovering a strange and difficult truth: I married a momblocker. Last year [Time] wrote about “gatekeeper moms”: women who tell their husbands they want their help, but then micromanage every decision. These moms, not uninvolved dads, were the secret underminers of egalitarian parenting. . . . I know plenty of those moms. But in my own circle of artistic, self-employed, super-involved, neurotic, and, yes, Brooklyn parents, I see far more control-freak dads. These are the men you see chastising their wives for not dressing the baby warmly enough or using only the three-point latch in the stroller, not the five. . . .

We're something of a momblocker ourselves. And apparently, Park Slope is just sick with uppity involved fathers like us. Sohn goes on about her irrational resentment of the momblockers on New York's nickel at some length. We were honestly amused, though, by this exchange, which we think states a central truth about the challenges of married life:

I have spent many hours complaining to my shrink about Jake’s opinionated nature: He wants Alice to go to private school; he thinks it’s too soon for us to go on vacation without her; he insists Maurice Sendak’s book Mommy? is too scary for her. “I want to get my own way,” I said in one session, “but he won’t even discuss these things. When two married people disagree, who wins?”

“The one who feels more strongly,” he said.

“But that’s him every time!” I cried.                                                                             

NOW IF ONLY WE COULD GET THEM TO FINE NOGGIN FOR AIRING "THE UPSIDE-DOWN SHOW"

15 FD.com congratulates the FCC for its record $24 million fine of Univision after the Hispanic network claimed that it met federal requirements for educational children's programming with “the Latino soap opera 'Complices al Rescate' ('Friends to the Rescue') and other so-called telenovelas."

The penalty is. . . expected to send a strong signal to broadcasters that they will be expected to meet their required quota of shows that educate and inform children, after years of permissive oversight in this area.

We're down with that.

THIS BARBIE LAYS TEFILLIN, NOT KEN

Barbie4 That's Tefillin Barbie at left (actually, the Hagbah version), and she's the creation of "post-denominational" scribe Jen Taylor Friedman of Riverdale, who, along with her cheeky doll-adapting enterprise, "is believed to be in line to become the first woman in history to ritually inscribe a Torah, commissioned by a Reform shul in St. Louis." That historic task, the Jewish Week reports, has understandably led to some production delays for Friedman's $95, custom-modified dolls, although she has at least 20 standing orders for new models.

As could probably go without saying, Friedman is a strong believer in gender equality in religious practice, even for busty blondes. The Jewish Week reports that Friedman will use any profits from Tefillin Barbie to acquire and restore tefillin to be lent to women who can't afford their own.

A LITTLE DROP'LL DO YA

Slate reports on the remarkable findings of a study testing whether nightly use of atropine eye drops could head off nearsightedness in children. Man, could it:

After two years, on average, the children's nearsightedness had not progressed in the atropine-treated eyes but had dramatically worsened in the placebo-treated and untreated eyes. Similarly, atropine-treated eyes did not become deeper, while placebo-treated and untreated eyes did. No serious adverse effects were observed in the course of the research.

NOW THAT'S A HEADLINE

Naked Principal Found With Sex Toys Watching Gay Porn In Office

And the truly amazing thing is that there wasn't even room in the headline for the actual news: The middle-school principal was found naked, with sex toys, watching gay porn in his office -- and dealing crystal meth! This is easily the biggest blow to Allentown's image since the Billy Joel song.

ALTHOUGH THIS HEADLINE IS A PRETTY SOLID FIRST RUNNER-UP

 

Pole Dancing Parties Catch On in Book Club Country

What is it with the suburban moms? Like Letterman used to say about Madonna, they love to shock us. First came the "Cosmopolitan moms" and their martini playdates. Now there are the pole-dancing parties, which sometimes go on while the children are right downstairs:

 

At [instructor Johnna] Cottam’s home the other Friday, the women pole-danced for a couple of hours, a black light placed in front of the hearth to set the mood (as opposed to the upturned red wagon that one of Ms. Cottam’s 2-year-olds had left behind). Before the lesson, Ms. Cottam poured white wine into glasses, and toasted: “To the pole dancer in each and every one of you, cheers.”

 

As her husband entertained their boys in the basement, Ms. Cottam taught the women tricks to try at home, with or without a pole. Every so often, she wiped the accumulated hand lotion from the pole with Windex.

SO LADIES, GET YOURSELF DOWN TO YOUR LOCAL SUPERMARKET AND BUY A PINT OF BEN AND JERRY'S NEW YORK SUPER FUDGE OVARY CHUNK NOW

V_ny_superfudge A new study finds that eating full-fat ice cream every day could help women living with infertility caused by a lack of ovulation. Researcher Jorge
Chavarro, in fact, worries that current federal dietary guidelines, with
their emphasis on low-fat dairy, "may be deleterious for women planning
to become pregnant."

HOW'S THE NEW JOB WORKING OUT SO FAR?

In an effort to blunt reasonable criticism that mayoral control of New York City public schools has turned the system into a benevolent dictatorship, mayor Michael Bloomberg has appointed Martine Guerrier, a public school parent, as "chief family engagement officer." Earlier in the day that he announced Guerrier's appointment, according to the Times, Bloomberg said:

"Most parents really are pleased, and you can see it in that most parents are staying in the city. They’re not leaving, and they’re sending their kids to public school.”

When asked about the mayor’s comments about parents being pleased, Ms. Guerrier initially replied, “I don’t think he said that.”

But when she was assured that he had, she said, “I would say that most parents have concerns and issues that need to be addressed. I would say that there is an opportunity to do things better.”

March 2, 2007 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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I find the stories here intriguing.

Posted by: Boomie | Dec 31, 2009 3:40:17 AM

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