IF THIS ABSTINENCE CLASS IS A ROCKIN', DON'T COME A'KNOCKIN'

Students who took part in sexual abstinence programs were just as likely to have sex as those who did not, according to a study ordered by Congress. . . those who attended one of the four abstinence classes that were reviewed reported having similar numbers of sexual partners as those who did not attend the classes. And they first had sex at about the same age as other students — 14.9 years.

The findings are sure to spark a debate in Congress over whether the $176 million (wow) that the government spends on so-called Title V abstinence programs annually is a good investment (sounds like not), or whether that money would be better spent on comprehensive sex-ed courses in which abstinence would be presented as part of a package of safe sex lessons.

MC NUTS, WE'VE STUDIED WORDSWORTH. WE'VE VISITED HIS HOME. WORDSWORTH WAS A HERO OF OURS. SQUIRREL, YOU'RE NO WORDSWORTH.

Wordsworth_woodDoes everyone else remember that cultural moment several years ago when everyone tried to get their animated characters in on the rap craze because it was what "the kids" were into? We certainly remember how cool rapping made "MC Elmo" seem to our own audience of under-four-year-olds when we got the Sesame Street "1 2 3 Count With Me" video a couple of years back, not to mention his vintage MC Hammer parachute pants.

Well, you may have thought that cultural moment had mercifully passed, but in actuality it has just reached England's Lake District, whose tourism bureau has foisted on the world this video of Sam (or "MC Nuts"), the region's squirrel-suited mascot, rapping to Wordsworth's "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud." We can't quite tell from the footage, but it's certainly possible that MC Nuts is dancing directly above Wordsworth's grave.

Gerberproductsvig1THE SYNERGY HERE IS OBVIOUS - EXPECT TO SEE JARS OF SWEET POTATOES AND CORN CRUNCH, KIT KAT CARROTS AND SWEET PEAS, AND TOLL HOUSE TURKEY RICE DINNER ON SUPERMARKET SHELVES BY THE FALL

Swiss food giant Nestle is gobbling up Gerber, which dominates the U.S. baby-food market with a 79% share of sales, for a sweet $5 billion.

WELL, THEN, LET US ADD OUR OWN THREE CHEERS FOR THE BUS DRIVER

Despite a series of recent crashes, some of them deadly, the Wall Street Journal reports that:

accident data and interviews with transportation experts suggest school buses are actually far safer than other forms of school transport, including the family car. Indeed, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, school buses are by far the safest passenger vehicles on the road.

The Journal article, well worth reading, details the many advances in safety technology which have made buses safer than the canary-colored death traps we all rode to the aquarium in the 70s. Today, fewer than eight children die in school-bus crashes each year, according the NHTSA. Of course, longtime FD.com visitors know that there's a movement to add shoulder-harness seat belts to all school buses, which gains momentum in every crash. We recently chaperoned school field trips for both Fellow and Tiny in recent weeks, and were pleasantly surprised to find seat belts on both buses. Given that school buses with any kind of belts are a distinct minority nationwide, New York City is clearly ahead of the curve.

ALL THIS TROUBLE COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF THE KIDS WENT TO THE VILLAGE TO BUY THEIR GUAYABERAS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

V16329A group of students from the "elite, alternative" Beacon School went on a spring break trip to Cuba with their history teacher, in defiance of their principal (and federal law) sparking a hubbub here in Manhattan. But despite the controversy, it still must have been a valuable educational experience for the children, right? Nope. According to Andrew Wolf of the New York Sun, the trip was simply an example of "the manipulation of young minds for political ends," and it was far from an isolated incident:

"It isn't just on the foreign policy front that radical activists have gained a foothold. . . the leadership of the Department of Education has accelerated the creation of schools with so-called social justice themes. Many of these schools were created using funds provided by Microsoft's founder, William Gates, the world's richest man."

So, decent Americans should be on the lookout for radical leftists and philanthropic billionaires. Check. Anyone else we should be worried about?:

"The public schools should not be used to advance the politics of any individual or group, whether it is the pro-Castro teacher at the Beacon School who is still fighting the Cold War, the math teachers looking to change societal priorities to something more to their liking, or Islamists who see the potential of a mini-madrassa in Park Slope."

Great, that sounds like everyone. Thanks.

THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE. . . AND PICKS YOUR POCKET

A New York City Council investigation finds widespread fraud among the city's nanny agencies, including improper fees being charged to parents, not to mention lax background checks of the nannies themselves.
The probe was overseen by councilman Eric Gioia, who became a father last summer. Thanks, Dad.

SO, DADS, IF YOUR THREE-YEAR-OLD STARTS LOOKING A LITTLE HUSKY, FEEL FREE TO BLAME YOUR WIFE FOR ALL THAT HAAGEN-DAZS SHE DOWNED DURING HER PREGNANCY

Women whose weight gain during pregnancy meets the current recommendations are significantly more likely to have a 3-year-old who is overweight than those who gain less than the recommended amount, researchers report.

WE'VE DISCOVERED, HOWEVER, THAT THEY MAKE A HELL OF A DIFFERENCE FOR THE FATHER

According to studies, timing and sexual position do not influence the sex of the baby.

April 18, 2007 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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