HEY, KIDS, WE'RE WITH YOU. DYLAN'S BEEN CREEPING US OUT FOR YEARS

From Page Six of the New York Post:

KINDERGARTEN kids in ritzy L.A. suburb Calabasas have been coming home to their parents and talking about the "weird man" who keeps coming to their class to sing "scary" songs on his guitar. The "weird" one turns out to be Bob Dylan, whose grandson (Jakob Dylan's son) attends the school. He's been singing to the kindergarten class just for fun, but [to] the kiddies . . . he's just Weird Guitar Guy.

In a related story, that dude from the Spin Doctors has been hanging around Fellow's public school.

SEEN ON AN ACTUAL CINEMA MARQUEE IN THE POCONOS THIS WEEKEND

S P I D E R  M A N  3
A R E  W E  D O N E  Y E T

A NEW LOCATION THAT WILL WELCOME THE ARABIC ACADEMY WITH OPEN ARMS? LET'S SEE. . . DOES THE DEPT. OF ED. OWN ANY LAND IN AMMAN?

Bowing to community protests, New York City's Department of Education tabled plans to open a new school "devoted to the study of the Arabic language and culture" inside an existing public school in Brooklyn. And so now the Khalil Gibran International  Academy goes seeking a new home. As always in these situations, the protesting parents said their complaint wasn't with the agenda of the planned school itself. No, not at all. It was just the department's poor communication with the community. So we're sure many other neighborhood school parent bodies would be happy to welcome the Arabic academy, just as long as the department asks nicely. Stay tuned.

OK, WHO PUT THE SUNNY D IN LITTLE GUY'S BOTTLE? COME ON, GUYS. THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

Tooth decay in children under 5, which had been decreasing for 40 years, is now on the rise, according to a major new government study of the nation's dental health. And according to the study's author, Dr. Bruce Dye of the National Center for Health Statistics, it's your fault!

. . .parents are giving their children more processed snack foods than in the past, and more bottled water or other drinks instead of fluoridated tap water, Dye said. "They're relying more on fruit snacks, juice boxes, candy and soda" for the sustenance of preschoolers. . .

NOT BEING AS FLEXIBLE AS WE ONCE WERE, WE'VE FOUND THIS TO BE GOOD ADVICE

The Journal offered a special report the other day on how a couple can address the toll that new-parenthood takes on their sex life (without tackling the more problematic issue of how having a third child completely blows it out of the water). Included in the report is helpful advice like this:

Turn toward each other -- not away -- for friendship and sex.

ALSO EFFECTIVE: A SCRAP OF PAPER  WITH TODAY'S DATE AND A PIECE OF SCOTCH TAPE

Here's a strong candidate for Least Necessary New Parenting Product of the Month: The Days Ago digital timer, which promises to eliminate any doubt about whether leftovers you've stored in your fridge or freezer are still good to eat. With one press of a button, the timer will indicate how many days an item has been stored. A pack of two is just $10. The device comes in magnetic (for jar lids) and suction (for plastic containers) styles. So, marketing wizards, what do we do if our food is stored in tinfoil?

AND JUST WAIT'LL YOU HEAR WHAT THEY DISCOVERED ABOUT THE KIND OF LOVERS TODDLERS WITH AN ORAL FIXATION TURN OUT TO BE

A 20-year study directed by a University of Minnesota professor has found that cranky babies grow up to become insecure lovers. The researchers found that measurements of how quickly infants looked to their parents for calming when they became upset (if at all), and how easily parents were able to soothe them, were critical predictors of how successfully children, when grown, would be able to find happiness in romantic relationships.

OH, YEAH? WELL, JUST IMAGINE HOW MUCH WE ENVY YOU EACH WEEKEND, SARA: WHILE YOU'RE LOUNGING AT ELITE CHESS TOURNAMENTS, WE'RE TRAPPED WITH THE KIDS AND THEIR MENTORS AT THE INSTITUTE FOR ADVANCED STUDIES AT PRINCETON*

New York Sun parenting columnist Sara Berman (full disclosure: her father, retired demi-billionaire investor Michael Steinhardt, co-owns the paper) today writes about why so many city parents resent the time they have to spend transporting their kids to Little League or soccer games each weekend, not to mention actually having to watch their unwatchable games. Fair enough. But our Sara can't leave well enough alone, and so she ends her report with this kicker:

To all the parents complaining about spending their weekends on the baseball fields, game after game, I [said]: "The next time you're stuck on a field on a sunny May day, just think of me, stuck in the basement of Hunter or P.S. 6 at my boys' chess tournaments, with an even more wacky parent group than you can imagine." They all felt better after hearing where I was stuck weekend after weekend. On those sparkling spring Sundays, those baseball diamonds sound pretty appealing.

Yes, we're quite sure that your reminding fellow parents to pity you your sons' intellectual pursuits put a stop to their complaining about Little League. In fact, we imagine it brought the entire conversation to a screeching halt.

* (not really what we do. . .)

UPDATE: SCHOOL OF AMERICAN BALLET AUDITIONS

We recently posted a link to Freelance Dad's article in the current issue of Time Out New York Kids about ballet classes for boys. We neglected to add that the Times this fall ran a feature about the School of American Ballet's audition process, which is also well worth reading for anyone out there who (like us) is considering bringing their own kids over to SAB for auditions later this month.

Lighttable_d_1164035256AND NOW, YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN

If we were suddenly to start spending hundreds
of dollars on furniture for our kids' room,
which we're not, this Lite Brite-inspired table
from Babesta ($499) would be at the
top of our list. It's outasight!

May 8, 2007 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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