HELP WANTED: BUS DRIVER. APPLICANTS MUST DRINK, SMOKE, TELL DIRTY JOKES

New York City is finding its next generation of school bus drivers in a retraining program, Red Hook on the Road. But the prospective drivers don't plan to hear the three cheers of young voices for long:

Once she is qualified, Ms. Castillo said, she will seek a job with a school bus company, and later with the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, which runs the public buses in New York City. “The M.T.A. pays more,” [she] said.

THE NEW YORKER MAGAZINE PARENTAL-THEMED CARTOON OF THE WEEK

Please bring your entire life to a halt to check this out.

BUT THE BOY SAID HE REALLY WANTED TO GO TO WORK THAT DAY WITH HIS UNCLE, WHO DOES BREAST ENHANCEMENTS

It was Take Your Son to Work (And Let Him Do Your Job) Day in the Indian state of Tamil Nedu the other day, and so Dr. K. Murugesan allowed his unlicensed 15-year-old boy to perform a Caesaream section, reportedly on a relative, in an apparent attempt to get the boy listed in the Guiness Book of World Records (which, for the record, said it would not recognize such an attempt in any case).

. . . local media quoted an unfazed Murugesan as saying: “What is wrong with my son performing surgery, when a 10-year-old can drive a car and a 15-year-old can get a medical degree in America?”

Wow, my man's been watching way too much "Doogie Howser" . . .

DAVID BROOKS: MAKING THE WORLD SAFE FOR NOOKIE SINCE 2007

Did anyone else catch Brooks' loopy-as-all-get-out column the other day? It's about how sex education, like all values education, is doomed to fail because the premise is based on "a false model of human nature."

There is no central executive zone in the brain where all information is gathered and decisions are made. . . . Once we've perceived a situation and construed it so that it fits one of the patterns we carry in our memory, we've pretty much rigged how we're going to react, even though we haven't consciously sat down to make a decision.

David, can you give us an example?

Women who live in neighborhoods with a shortage of men wear more revealing clothing and are in general more promiscuous than women in other neighborhoods. They probably are not conscious of how their behavior has changed, but they've accurately construed their situation (tougher competition for mates) and altered their behavior accordingly.

Wow, that really makes sense. Women who sleep around don't have poor values. In fact, they probably don't even know that they're sleeping around. Cool. Can you hit us with another one?:

When a teenage couple is in the backseat of a car about to have sex or not, or unprotected sex or not, they are not autonomous creatures making decisions based on classroom maxims or health risk reports. Their behavior is shaped by the subconscious landscapes of reality that have been implanted since birth.

You see, now, it's times like this that we regret no longer being a teenage boy. Because when we were in the backseats of cars all those years ago, the best line we could come up with was, "I promise I won't tell anyone," when what we really should have said was, "Come on, baby, I really need it. I wish I didn't, I really do, but it's not like I'm an autonomous creature making decisions here based on classroom maxims, you know? My behavior is shaped by the subconscious landscapes of reality that have been implanted in me since birth. It's fate is what it is. So come on back here and let's do it before I have to get the car back to my brother."

July 2, 2007 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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