DRIVIN' GOOD IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

ApplebeesneonlogoThe FD.com Article of the Day:

BROOMFIELD, Colo. - A 6-year-old boy was hungry and decided he'd go to Applebee's. So he grabbed the car keys, took his booster seat from the back seat of his grandmother's car and placed it in the driver's seat, then made a go of driving himself to the restaurant Tuesday.

He made it about 75 feet. Unable to take the car out of reverse, he crossed the street and ran into a transformer and communication box, knocking out electricity and phone service to dozens of town homes.

Nobody was injured.

MEANWHILE, BACK IN CHINA

BEIJING (Oct. 4) - A father tied his 10-year-old daughter's hands and feet and watched her swim in a chilly southern China river for three hours in a task he said Thursday would help the girl achieve her dream of swimming across the English Channel.

BRITNEY SPEARS: ONLY AMERICA'S SECOND-WORST MOTHER?

Authorities in New York say a woman arrested for prostitution early Monday morning also snorted cocaine off the stomach of her infant son while breast-feeding him between tricks.

Speaking of Britney, by the way, we hope that Bob Herbert or some other such responsible, good-hearted columnist will write, or already has written, the column that says that while we can all sit back and sanctimoniously tsk-tsk over the parenting misadventures of Ms. Spears, and the harm she allegedly puts her children in (even while various handlers, bodyguards, and mannies are omnipresent in and around her home), we must also realize that there are thousands of other dangerously irresponsible parents across the country who aren't being chased every day by paparazzi seeking (upskirt photos and) evidence of motherly neglect, and who's looking out for their kids? Anyone?

THE GIRLS AT OUR HIGH SCHOOL ALWAYS TOLD US THE SAME RULE APPLIED THERE, BUT WE NEVER FOUND IT IN THE CODE OF CONDUCT

This just in from Percy Julian Middle School in the Chicagoland:

Principal Victoria Sharts banned hugging among the . . . school's 860 students anywhere inside the building. She said students were forming "hug lines" that made them late for classes and crowded the hallways.

Wow. We're going to have to transfer Fellow to Julian when he gets into sixth grade, because apparently the worst problem they have there is kids hugging each other, and now that's been solved.

We always enjoy articles about arbitrary school rules, because they offer such valuable insights into the psyches of the principals who make them. For example, under what circumstances does Ms. Sharts believe hugs are appropriate?

"Hugging is really more appropriate for airports or for family reunions. . . "

We see. And, Ms. Sharts, are you perhaps carrying around any weird psychological scars from your own middle school years?

"There is another side to the issue when a hug is either unwanted or becomes inappropriate as judged by one of the students involved. . ."

SLINKY SIDEWOMAN HEARS FREELANCE DAD PLANS TO ATTEND DAN ZANES CONCERT, BACKS OUT OF TOUR ALTOGETHER

0801_barbara_smSad news from Dan Zanes and Friends this week:

"the fall tour is starting up and it's our busiest one yet. the big news is that barbara brousal has decided not to tour in order to stay in brooklyn with her daughter, magdelena. we'll miss her, but who could argue with that decision? . . . . "

Who could argue with that decision, Dan? Freelance Dad, that's who!

OBIT OF THE WEEK

Josieandthepussycats70Neocon news outlet the New York Sun is beloved here at HQ for its idiosyncratic pockets of excellence, one being the obituary column by Stephen Miller. Here's an excerpt from Miller's report on the death of Richard Goldwater, 71, who followed his dad into the family business—Archie Comics—and co-created both Josie and the Pussycats and Sabrina the Teenage Witch, while updating the company's flagship characters:

As son of Archie's creator, John Goldwater, who died in 1999, Richard Goldwater joined the family firm when in his mid-teens, about the same age as the comic book protagonist. The eternal verities of "Archie," and its countless spin-off titles, were already in place: locations like Riverdale High School and Pop's Chock'Lit Shoppe; subsidiary characters like the jalopy-driving Jughead (lately updated to a Mustang), and lunk-headed athlete Moose (now diagnosed with dyslexia). It was a stage for the comic's central agon, an unusual love triangle: Archie torn between a pair of cantilevered hotties, Betty and Veronica.

October 10, 2007 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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